Am I too nice?

Lots of thinking

This year has given me a lot to reflect upon. Recent experiences has made me question some of my principles and I want to share this with you as my last post of 2018. Something to think about and something to help guide me into the new year.

Am I too nice?

STORY ONE: I recently played in a cash game in Perth. (don't worry I will write a Perth review next week) There was an obviously drunk guy who didn't know what he was doing. He called an all in with a J high flush draw on a 6688 board. He called my preflop 3b with K2o and on a QQQ flop he called again when I over pot shoved with my pocket tens. He already rebought 5 times and I get aces in big blind. Someone raised to 7x, he called, button called, I made it 20x. Everyone folded and but he called. Flop came QJ7 rainbow I insta shoved effective 70x and flipped over my hand. He said he had a 7 in his hand but folded. I was being nice to him and gave up a 70bb profit (granted I might have lost the hand if it went to showdown but...) but instead I was yelled at by the floor man. I continued to watch everyone take advantage of the poor guy and he ended up losing about 800bb before security came and took him away.

More thinking

STORY TWO: In my visit to Sydney, I stayed at an Airbnb. The location was fine until it was night time and cockroaches came out to play. On my first night I killed about 20+ of them. If you're keen I got a video of that. On my second night I killed another 30+. I did not report to Airbnb, instead I told the owner to fix the problem and I would not complain about it. He came by to did a spray but it did not work. It was so bad, I was woken up one night by a cockroach crawling on my leg. I couldn't take it anymore and reported to Airbnb. The resolution was I would receive 50% refund of my booking. I accepted it, even wrote a very "toned down" review of the place, mentioning the issue but given the host credit that he tried and would fix the problem after my stay. Instead I got the host's review as being a "complicated guest, high maintenance". I don't think expecting to sleep without cockroaches on my body is being complicated nor high maintenance.

One of the 50+ cockroaches I killed at my Airbnb rental

STORY THREE: At this moment in time, I am being OWED about USD 75k and I can honestly tell you I have much less than that in my bank right now. Some of this debt are good but some I can tell you I do not expect to ever see the money again. I help people whenever I can. Despite not having a job and steady income, I help others and gave friends time to pay up. I am not rich by any means and to be honest I am struggling a bit at the moment. But sometimes I get scolded when I ask for my money back, or some "friends" can quickly forget about you when there's money owed. Yet in my heart I forgive them and even feel bad for them that they can be so cold and selfish.

God is still better than any artist

I am not a saint and I have made many mistakes in my life. I am not writing this to boast or to show off. I am indeed struggling with this question. But one of the principles I have is not to do to others what I wouldn't want done to myself. There are so many cash games that I had to stay on playing after winning a big pot because I don't want to hit and run, even if I don't know the people nor will I ever see them again. Because of this principle I probably lost a lot of money over time for just sticking around. Others may owe me, but when I owe someone I will go out of the way to get it paid back, even when I am struggling. When we were arrested for playing poker, I volunteered myself to be jailed for longer so my friends can be released earlier. I gave to charity when I had a winning month even when I had a losing year.

Am I too nice?

After lots of reflection and soul searching, my answer is NO. This is who I am and who I will continue to be. I believe in karma and even if I don't get rewarded, knowing I am doing what's right is reward enough. Let this post and you reading it be a witness to my future. One day when I look back on this, I hope I can say, karma is a generous bitch.

My Poker Journey in 2018

Before the end of 2017 I set myself some goals for 2018 and here'e a look back to how I did.

In February I officially ceased my employment so I guess you can say I "turned pro" in Feb. However I feel a more accurate description would be I was unemployed between Feb - June and decided to pursue poker as a career at the end of June.

My poker this year - looks good but pretty shaky when inspected

I started the year really strong and final tabled the APPT Platinum Series Main Event. I also cashed in the APT Vietnam main event and I was on a roll. Then I had a series of bad results. Red Dragon, APPT Incheon, APT Seoul, honestly I look back and I knew I wasn't playing well. My head wasn't in it and I wasn't focused. I took time off poker for a couple of months and started playing again in June. Still I didn't do well. I felt I was being impatient and trying to make moves that had low chances of success. It wasn't till the end of July I told myself I played so badly I deserved to lose, and I bucked up and the results started rolling in.

Sorry APL, ugliest trophy I have ever seen but I'll take it

Before the year I set myself a goal to cash at least 10 times and win my second trophy. I managed to do just that. I cashed 11 times, including 2 trophies, making 8 final tables, finishing 2nd and 3rd once each. I had a great run from August to October but fizzled out in November and December where I bricked everything I played in. On one slight bright side, I was on the feature table twice at the WSOP main event where I played decent. I bluff jam with ace high, max value 3rd pair, max value a full house but also made 2 calls that were questionable. Lol. I did also win 4 other trophies in OFC as well.

On the feature table

4 OFC trophies

I put some money into Crypto in the 3rd quarter and as you all know what happened after that. It has been a rough year for me financially. Having lost the safety of a stable income, playing poker professionally can be really frustrating and stressful. At one point I was doing okay because there was a cash game I was consistently doing well in. But that game got busted and the people involved were thrown in jail for 6 months. That was a wake up call for me.

To be honest, 2019 is looking bleak. Bricking tourneys is not fun and it is a huge blow to the bankroll. But I am proud to say despite not having the best year I gave the most this year to charity. I am not trying to toot my own horn but I believe in doing what I do with integrity and purpose. Maybe the Big guy upstairs will have mercy on me and give me a second chance.

I don't even dare to set any goals for 2019 as I am not living month to month. But if possible I hope to better my results from this year and hopefully have some traction in my financial life. But whatever it is, for those who know me, I will always have a smile on my face, willing to help others whenever I can, and be the best I can be.