Good riddance 2020

2020 has been a rough year for most people, but for the most part it was going well for me until recently. Every year I set New Year resolutions and it is now a tradition that I look back at what I wrote and review my year based on what I set out to do.

In January I wrote: 1) Seek alternative source of income. When I wrote this I wasn't sure what I was going to do. But in late February it just kind of fell into my lap, and in one week, we planned, prepared and opened a new poker club in Phnom Penh, 777. Building this business from scratch was a tough but very satisfying journey. Many people doubted us, but we did it. We were a profitable business by March 4th and never looked back. By June we were running the hottest, juiciest and most consistent PLO game in town. I have seen pots of over 20k on a 2/5 game. I did not have a day off work from March 1st until November 4th, except for 2-3 days early on where we didn't open. I have never worked so hard in my life. (I have played 566 sessions of poker totaling over 1800 hours, ending the year with a modest profit, 9 winning months out of 12) It was only recently at the end of November when it was all taken away from me. And I lost six figures in equity because of it. But I succeeded in creating an alternative source of income for 2020, and still came out doing quite well compared to most people. 

At the peak of my cashflow situation

2) Remain de-gen free for 2020. Well, I am sorry to report that I did not achieve this. In 2019 I was such a good boy and stayed away from everything de-gen. In 2020 I did not. But I can say I was very controlled and was never addicted to it. Compared to my de-gens in the past, this was purely for entertainment purposes and were in very small amounts. 

Prague in February

Thanks to Covid-19, I barely got to play any tournaments at all this year. Thankfully compared to most other people I probably did more travelling than others. Before countries started panicking and locking down, I had already travelled to Hong Kong, Taiwan, Macau, Austria, Czech Republic, Slovakia, Malaysia and of course Cambodia. It was in Taiwan I played one live tournament and had a small cash. I also played in one PLO tournament online and got my one and only WSOP cash in my career. Pretty cool to have a WSOP logo on my Hendon mob record. 3) Be profitable in tournaments - I can honestly say this year I was. But I only played 3 and cashed 2. 

Vienna, Austria

4) to be healthier and lose weight. Well...... I actually did the opposite. Because of my dedication to work, I stopped playing football since March. (I used to play twice a week) We would order supper for late games and this year is the year I have had the most pizzas and alcohol in my life. I actually gained weight. At my last weigh-in, during a visit to a spa with the boys, a week before I was removed from my own business, I weighed exactly 77.7 kgs. I am not proud about it, but 777, pretty cool considering I was the owner of 777. (At the time I was removed, I held 40% of the shares of that business)

Typical pot in 2/5 PLO

The last of my resolutions for 2020 was 5) give to those less fortunate and inspire others to do so. I think I did well this year. I gave to Animal Rescue Cambodia, United Nation's World Food Programme, sent money to a lady who helped poor families in Bali, gave money to a few individuals (some I didn't know at all). Last week there was a guy who flipped over two of my cards (out of 4 in PLO) after I went all in. He ended up calling my bluff after seeing two of my cards. Although I could have called his hand dead for doing that, I guess he needed it more than I did. At this moment I am still being owed a shit ton of money. 

For some, they might say that I had a shitty end to the year. I was doing so well but to lose all that, plus my reputation (as I was told someone was still defaming me until today), and the months of future profit that I had lost. Why a God-fearing man like me would have this befell on me? Maybe I am too soft, too nice, too generous, too trusting, playing by the rules, too honest? But I believe in justice, good karma, and blessings. This year, I have gained a handful of loyal and trustworthy friends. I have earned the respect of my peers and the people who know me well. I have learned the real face of some people that I had counted on as friends. This to me is worth more than money and profit. I also had people who owed me contacted me out of the blue and paid me back in full! In total that was about $6-7k, but because a big portion of that was paid using BTC, I also made money from it considering BTC is now worth more than 3 times when I receive the payment. 

For He makes the sun rise for the evil and the good
(the different views from my balcony in 2020)

Overall this year I had so many frustrated, tired, angry moments, but I also had a lot of pride in what I had achieved, and the true friends that I have made along the way. I've learned that by being me, sure there will be times I will be taken advantage of, bullied, cheated. But I shouldn't change who I am, but instead, rise above the rest and set a good example for the people around me. I hope you will continue to follow my journey, and when the time for vindication comes, then I'll be proof that doing good, being good is the best path in life. 

I'm a sinner not a saint (What happened in November)

I do not claim to be, nor think of myself as a good guy. So many mistakes in my life, so many flaws, so many regrets. 

I first entered a casino when I was 15 years old. I was a regular there. I would go there so often that I made friends with other patrons, who've invited me out to dinner, attend their daughter's 17th birthday party, someone else offered me to marry his daughter for migration purposes, offered to sell me their jewellery, gave me $500 when they saw me on a bad losing streak..... all before I turned 17.

I have shoplifted at least 5 times but never caught. Ran 5 "illegal" businesses and was caught by police 3 times. Went to jail for that. I have cheated my employers, made false claims, no different from stealing money. In short, I am not a saint! The fact my identity is not shared, that my Facebook profile has a fake name with no facial photos proves that I have something to hide. It would probably break my mum's heart if she knew I was playing poker. I am still waiting for my big cash for me to finally reveal everything to her and ask for her acceptance. 

But in my failures, mistakes and regrets I am trying to learn to be a better person. Learning to give without expecting anything in return, to be honest in an industry where success is measured by how well you can lie (bluff), to help those in need and less fortunate than I, to put myself in others' shoes and be considerate of their situation, to be kind to everyone whether or not they reciprocate. 

The true value of light is in the dark

In the past month, my principles and values have been put to the test numerous times. I swore to be a better version of myself but the universe keeps on challenging me to be true to my word. I have been given opportunities to betray my partners, but I didn't. I have been offered deals to benefit myself but hurt others in the process, but I turned them down. I had a pot awarded to me that was supposed to be a chop but no one realised, but I chopped it anyway. I had the reason and means to fire a staff who's cost me a lot of money, but I didn't. I had an opportunity to insist on a stake that was worth a free $2000 but I didn't. One guy asked me for $1000 loan to save him from a difficult situation, knowing that this guy couldn't be trusted, but I did it anyway. 

But despite being true to my word, being the best person I can be, willing to turn the other cheek, I still find myself sprawled on the table, pants down to my ankles, bent over as others take turns defiling me. (I know some of you are turned on by now) I remind myself, I can lose money, I can lose ownership, I can lose face, I can lose authority, but I cannot lose my principles, I cannot lose my sense of justice, I cannot lose my integrity, I cannot go against my word. The fact that I still get fucked in the process only adds value to me.

It's easy to be the bigger man when you're right, but it's of more value when you're wronged. 

Novembers have not been kind to me in the past years. But I believe as long as I continue to do right, even if I am not rewarded, knowing I persisted is reward enough. Every month I share my ups and downs in dollars and cents. This month I may have lost a lot in many things, but I have gained so much as a man. Respect, loyalty and trust from the people I care about.