Did I ever imagine I would be a poker player? Never in my wildest dreams. I started playing the game a long time ago, and I loved it, but never thought it would become a profession. I was almost pushed into it when the company I worked for closed down, followed by the riots and COVID I found myself with no other choice but to seek an alternative source of income.
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| Little things that may mean a lot to someone |
At first I struggled with it, doesn't it go against my beliefs? What would someone think about Christians playing poker? I even prayed for a different job, I still remember I had tears rolling down my eyes as I asked God, what do you want me to do? There is an element of gamble in poker, but so is in almost any other thing. Starting a business, buying a house, moving to a new country, getting into a relationship... when there are the unknown, and when outcomes can vary, there is a gamble. But you reduce it by being vigilant, acquiring more knowledge, research, study, learn from mistakes, seek advice.. and you do it with discipline and self control, and never let greed overtake you.
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| That's my arm on the right |
I have done a lot of stupid shit in my life. I started gambling when I was 16. I have been in jail twice. I have family members who refuse to speak to me even to this day. It's one thing to have never fallen, but it's another to have fallen and gotten back up. I have since given myself a new mission. To use my involvement and position in the industry to inspire, influence, encourage, impact, be a positive example, to give glory to God. A big part of our game is deception, creating an edge, maximizing value, but we do not have to be the same off the table. Those who travel for tournaments know the temptations during a series. Those who know me well know that they are wasting their breath inviting me to after poker activities. I try my best to be respectful on the tables, always friendly to everyone, even after a bad beat to accept it gracefully, wish everyone good luck and walk away. There are times that I do lose it, and I make sure I apologize for my mistakes.
In the last 10 years, I have lost 3 friends to suicide and overdose. YG did not have many friends, and whenever I am in town, I would hang out with him. Nothing seemed out of place but one day I was told he was gone. I often question could I have done more? Why wasn't I sensitive enough? DR and I were just planning for the coming year, that we would meet up in Morocco. He's the only poker friend I have cried for. Since then I made it a mission to be more sensitive to those around me. I have offered my friends to reach out if they needed someone. But I realized that most would probably be too shy to. So I am now taking the initiative to do random check ins with my friends. I am very touched that some would open up to me.
I also want to give when I can. Together with HKPPA we have organized 2 charity tournaments giving money to those in need. I used to give 10% of my winnings, in the past 3 years only sparingly but I believe when my downswing ends I will be back to that. We bought food for a Cambodian orphanage, a friend was inspired and did the same in Vietnam. Wherever I go, I try to feed stray dogs, and also donated to multiple dog shelters. A friend was inspired and gave 90kgs of food to a Sri Lankan dog shelter.
I often question why am I not successful financially. But I have a super rich life, lots of friends and family who love me, a great partner in crime. Maybe I am destined not to win big tournaments, or survive the nosebleed cash games. But I am collecting something else. I am accumulating wealth in other things. I am living my life the best I can, and to the fullest.
If you need someone to talk to, someone to listen, you can reach me via
Instagram or happyriverpoker@gmail.com
