Since April till now mid-June, I have played 19 sessions of poker (had a month-long hiatus in between) and won only 8 of them. I lost a few sessions that were 800bb+ but the stakes were pretty wide. From $1/$1 up to $20/$40 and in between. Honestly I have not had such an experience in my career until now, so I want to share with you my experience.
At first it started off with frustration. Why can't I win like I used to? Why does it suddenly seem so much harder than it was before? Admittedly that led to some poor plays and compounded my annoyance and made me lose more than I had to.
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| Things started to go bad after this very day |
So the first lesson was ENTITLEMENT. As a decent player, playing against players we perceive to be better than, we somehow feel we are entitled to win. This is one of the biggest tilt factors for most players. I flopped the nuts, I should win this pot. So when the run out gets bad, we still call off knowing that we might not have the best hand anymore, because hey, we flopped the nuts. I played that hand perfectly, trapped him with such beauty and finesse, but the donkey got lucky and spiked his two outer.
So what? If you are not prepared to lose, you are not prepared to win. (if no one said it before, then this is my quote) Getting bad beats or coolered is part of life. It awes me when some poker pros or veteran regs throw tantrums after a beat. If you can't take it on the chin like a champ, maybe you shouldn't be in the ring.
After successfully stringing together a few more losses, I entered the reflection stage. Is this really a downswing because of LUCK, or BAD PLAY? You have to be honest with yourself, and be HUMBLE and soul search. It helps if you have a good friend (that is good enough to tell you the ugly truth, rather than a white lie) that was on the same tables with you to help you another perspective, or have someone good to analyse some hands that you played. And this time, I found my first few losses were from a combination of tilt and running bad. Hence I took a break from poker to clear my head and get refocused. You need to ask yourself is this really a downswing or I just ran out of luck.
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| What should I do Mona? |
After my break I started playing poker again and managed to look at the things that was causing me tilt in a different light. I was back to being positive and focused. However things didn't go well. This time, the real downswing is here, losing 5 out of 6 sessions since returning. I don't want to bore you with the bad beat or cooler stories. I did win some nice pots in between but lost most of my key pots, the kind of pots that really define your session. So at this stage I am feeling sad. A couple of posts ago I said I was feeling depressed, now I really am.
However, knowing if I start to feel sorry for myself, it will spiral downwards and potentially cause me to play poorly or play tilted that I will end up losing more. So what I've learned is to look at the POSITIVE side of things. Let's put it into perspective. Only 5 months ago I was so happy to be up X amount, then I continued to build that over the next few months to X+++. Then in my downswing, I am now up just X++. For example, you're so happy to be up 3000. Then you ran it up further to 14000. But now you've dropped to 11000. I thought to myself, why was I so happy to be up 3000 and now sad to be up 11000? Just because I hit 14000 at one point? That doesn't make sense. I am 8000 better off than I was 5 months ago, but instead I am sadder than I was. If so, that is really messed up! As recent as a few days ago, I changed my mindset and started to think positively. The results haven't turned yet but I am enjoying my poker more than I was, and not easily affected by the results, nor am I pushing spots to try to eke out a win. So I guess the last lesson is, DON'T FORCE IT. If it is variance, like a storm, wait it out.
However, knowing if I start to feel sorry for myself, it will spiral downwards and potentially cause me to play poorly or play tilted that I will end up losing more. So what I've learned is to look at the POSITIVE side of things. Let's put it into perspective. Only 5 months ago I was so happy to be up X amount, then I continued to build that over the next few months to X+++. Then in my downswing, I am now up just X++. For example, you're so happy to be up 3000. Then you ran it up further to 14000. But now you've dropped to 11000. I thought to myself, why was I so happy to be up 3000 and now sad to be up 11000? Just because I hit 14000 at one point? That doesn't make sense. I am 8000 better off than I was 5 months ago, but instead I am sadder than I was. If so, that is really messed up! As recent as a few days ago, I changed my mindset and started to think positively. The results haven't turned yet but I am enjoying my poker more than I was, and not easily affected by the results, nor am I pushing spots to try to eke out a win. So I guess the last lesson is, DON'T FORCE IT. If it is variance, like a storm, wait it out.
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| This was also a big turning point session |
I will keep you guys updated about my run, but I think in these few weeks I have grown again as a poker player. The emotions I went through, and how by using logical steps to overcome at least the psychological aspects of a downswing, I feel like I have done all I can to minimize the damage, and hopefully be ready to reap the rewards when the variance evens out.
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